What I want to do different in 2012

1. Give more. 
Hubby and I are always trying to give financially as much as the Medical School budget allows, but I want to be more giving of my time.

2. Control less.
You may not realize this, but I am a bit of a control freak. Moon Sand and I can't be friends because of the mess anxiety it brings. '12 is going to be the year of the relaxed Mommy. We will paint more, and stress less. 

3. Appreciate daily.
I have a great Hubby. I've bragged on him a lot in this blog, and even that doesn't do him justice. We spent November apart due to his school rotation and in that time I realized just how good I've got it. I knew it before, but when you are left with 2 kids who are the sickest they have been in life and for the entire travel month, you see your spouse and partner in a new light. You will also ugly cry when he walks in the door for a good hour. I am super good at doing special things for my kids, and now it is Hubby's turn. 

4. Stop procrastinating.
I'm an organized control freak, with a family calendar, a kid calendar and alarms for everything, yet there are a few tasks that no matter what I do to make them organized and easy, I can't seem to stop procrastinating them. 

5. Clean my room.
Truth time. If you came in my house right now, you would see a clean house with an immaculate boys room with a closet so perfectly straight, my boys are scared to get dressed in the morning. The playroom is organized and lovely and everything has a place. Then there is my Master. I don't know why, but I have a hard time keeping this space organized. It makes no sense really. If I can keep a 6 & 3 year olds closet perfect, you would think I could keep my own. Either way, I think #4 has something to do with this one. 

6. Become a better teacher.
I don't homeschool, but Izzy does take piano and we have daily homework. I want my kids to enjoy and look forward to these tasks that otherwise might not be viewed as fun, and that starts with me. Time to get creative. Also, see #2.

7. Take care of Me.
This is vague and general, but there are some things I learned about myself in '11, on an emotional/relational level that I didn't like. This year I want to be better about boundaries for myself and trusting in rest.  I also want to improve my overall health and fitness. I recently, overhauled my skin care regimen, thanks to my friend KW, the knower of all things Sephora. My skin was showing my stress level and let's face it, it's time to start the prevention track. As weird as it sounds, in '12 I need to be a little more selfish.


8. Practice patience.
I am a horrible example of patience to my children. Awful. My brain works in list form and it is difficult for me to sloooooooooooow down. I hate slow things, and being late. Well, slow things minus the crock pot. I love that thing. 


I was going to think of 12 things, but it's midnight and my brain is tired so 8 it is. This is me creating a boundary for myself and taking care of me. Look at that. 

Ashers Quote of the Day: I asked Izzy to do something and he gave me a revised plan of what he thought he should do first. Before I could correct him Ash said, "Bobo, obey your parents, children, in all the single times. Washions 3:20" 

 

 

Tough Questions. Sweet Answers.

Today was a day I always knew would come and I always prayed for wisdom for when it did. During breakfast, Izzy asked (out of nowhere might I add) "Momma, tell me about the day Judah died. I know he died, but you never told me what happened that day. I want to know everything."

That is one heavy way to start the day. I took a deep breath and asked for the right words and then it just flowed out. Much different, than I had always imagined, but in a way that he understood. I didn't cover up the hard facts, I told him the truth. I told him how I birthed Judah and how the nurses gave him to us right away. We held, loved and kissed him for hours. I changed his clothes and prayed over him. After a while, Daddy was holding him and he slowed his breathing and we knew it was time. Shortly after, he took his last breath and he went to heaven. I was about to go on and tell him a few more details, when I looked up to see his eyes begin to fill with tears. I stopped, and took another deep breath before asking if something was wrong? He wiped his face and then said softly, "I'm okay, but it is just that I am so glad I have pictures of him. I would be so sad if I didn't have pictures. *long pause for thinking* Momma, it just makes me so sad. Like, so sad. It just isn't fair I only get to have my one brother. I am 'posed to have more."

Yep, that is how my morning started. Rip my heart out! It was really difficult for me to keep it together, especially since I am in the midst of reading "I Will Carry You" and all of those feelings are just at the tip of my throat ready to explode out. When I looked at his sweet little face and teary eyes, I knew he just needed some time to grieve on his own, without me taking any attention away with my own feelings. Hard, but necessary.

When Izzy was a baby, I used to think about these days and how I would have the strength to relay Judah's story. What I didn't imagine, is just how often Izzy asks about the brother that he was never able to meet. Easily, he talks about him 4 or 5 times a week. To some, this might bother them, but to me, it is a sweet relief that my precious one is not forgotten and my boys hold him in their heart just as I do.

Never one to shy away about hearing about his self, he asked for his birth story. That is another emotional story for me to tell, and as I looked in his eyes it was nearly impossible to not sob my way through it. I have told him since he was a baby just how special he is and how God sent him as a very special early gift for me and Daddy. He knows the story, but he wanted the details. What did the nurses do? Why did they keep me so long at the hospital? Why didn't he get to go home right away? Then when I was able to tell him, how I visited him in the NICU, three times a day, every single day for three weeks and I would rock him and talk to him and feed him, he burst into a bright beam of light. He absolutely loved the thought of just him and I, rocking away with no distractions. Then he told me, "Momma, I didn't ever want to tell you this before, but that hospital was scary. I didn't like waiting on you. There was lots of beeping and noises and the other babies were too loud. They cried all of the time and I just wanted you to come back and get me. The nurses made it dark and I didn't like being there even though they were very nice to me." I didn't know quite what to say! I don't believe I have ever talked about all the machines and the beeping and the other babies....who knows. Either way, the look on his face when hearing his story was priceless. I think I will have to write a little book for him so he can read it over and over.

Of course, he couldn't leave out our little Lovey. I told him how Asher's was the easiest of all because he was absolutely healthy. There was only one scary thing, and that was that he had a large bump on his head and we had to wait to take him to a specialist. Turns out, it was just his position and everything was fine. You can still feel the bump (although it is much smaller), but he has so much hair you can't see it. :) He laughed at first, and then he got teary again!! When I asked what these tears were about he said, "It's just that Ashey was just so cute. He had the littlest hands and his face was so soft. I just miss him like that." Me too, buddy!

Every once and a while, it is wonderful to retell your kids their story. It made Izzy beam to hear all about how much he was wanted and loved and it made me think back to those moments where I was living literally second to second and so appreciative of it all. Today when I was out with my boys and their friends, I watched as they played like big boys and I silently thanked God for answered prayers. Today started out a little emotional, but I am so grateful for Izzy's questions. It helped to refocus me and remind me just how much I have to be thankful for and that is always a great mindset to start your day.

Izzy's Quote of the Day: After telling him his story, (crying) he says, "Momma, I just want you to know you are just the best. You are always making me the best snacks, you are a good cooker and you always make us have fun every day. I am just so glad I got you. And thanks for taking good care of me in the hospital when I was too early. You are just...*dramatic pause* too good for me because you love me even when I am naughty. You just love me no matter what."

Asher's Quote of the Day: While tapping my watch he says, "Momma, you know time is? It's time for kisses!!!" (Followed by tons of hugs and kisses)

If you couldn't tell, I've had a pretty terrific day. :) Love my boys!

Lovey turns 3.

My sweet lovey,

I can't believe that in a few hours you will be 3 years old. How did you grow so quickly from this tiny baby with a full head of jet black hair to a boy in a blink?
Absolutely, without a doubt, if there was a contest for the best baby in the world, you would win. Quiet and happy, loved to sleep, ate well, giggled often. There are no words to describe the complete happiness you have brought to our lives. As a toddler, you have developed from a quiet thinker to my little comedian. You love your quiet time, you still love to sleep and you have become quite independent. You are constantly making me laugh with your silly sayings and your fun imagination.

On your last day of being 2 years old, you learned how to ride your tricycle! You were so proud of yourself, you rode around in circles and then yelled, "I DID IT!"

When I told you that it was your birthday tomorrow and you were turning 3, you said, "NO I not. I a baby!" I am so glad you don't want to grow up, even though we can't control it. I love how much you need to cuddle, love to be held, give me random kisses and hugs and all those "I yove yous".

I am so excited to celebrate you and all that you have brought to our lives. Mommy has LOTS of surprises in store!

Happy Birthday my sweet Lovey!

Just because it's Monday...

Hope you got a giggle. :)

BREAKING NEWS...

Asher VOLUNTARILY went to bed tonight without his "Bink"!!!!!

We keep his binky on a shelf above his bed and he is only allowed to have it at nap and bed time. Tonight when I went to grab it for him, it wasn't there. I told him and he said, "It's lost? *pause for thinking* "It okay bink lost." He got into bed, covered himself up and said Night Night. I stood there for a minute in shock and then thought I should close my mouth and go along with it.

When I told Hubby what happened he said, "Shut it, your joking." That is how seriously this kid takes his bink. I keep waiting to hear a yell, or a cry, but so far nothing.

This sums up my little Asher, when he is ready for something he goes full force. Here is hoping he decides on potty training soon!
*crossing fingers*

Map

Today I took Lovey on a walk around the neighborhood. It is absolutely gorgeous outside and I thought he would like to take a simple walk and chat with Mommy before nap time. Asher has quite an imagination, as I have said before. He imagines crocodiles on the floor, bad guys, sharks in the ocean and he is at least one animal for part of the day. When we left our house I told him he could choose which direction we headed. As we made our way down the sidewalk, he found a small cardboard advertisement and said, "OH wow! A map!" He wanted to stop and read it for a while before we made any further movement and finally he said, "It says dat-a way!" with a determined point. He led me around the curvy neighborhood stopping every few yards to refer to the map. He told me the map said we had to find flags. That was our new mission and luckily we have some very patriotic neighbors! We found several flags on our path, but that wasn't enough for little Lovey. He quickly realized that every single mailbox has a flag and he thought our mission included pushing each one of them up! :) He is a good listener, so after fixing a couple he was happy just to point them out to me. Not sure our mail carrier would have been to happy with that!
My little adventurer with his "map"

I just love love love spending time with my Asher. 2 1/2 might be my favorite age. Everything is so fun and exciting and he can communicate just enough for me to understand what is going on in his mind. He made a simple walk so much fun, all with his creativity and imagination. We had to jump over cracks so we didn't "fall down" and find flags, he wanted us to use our ears to listen for clues and my favorite of all was when he huffed and puffed and said, "dis is hard wok."

Of course after we found our house, I had to reward all of that work with a nice big glass of cold lemonade and a cookie. I just wish I could have joined him. Stinkin' South Beach!

Lovey

Today I was listening to Asher speak and I realized I hadn't posted an update on my lovey in a while.

My quiet little thinker, while still quiet is actually speaking really well now. He was a late bloomer in the language department, but now he rarely stops talking at home. :)
When Izzy was this age, he spoke like a little Italian Mario. "Izzy no lika dis.", "whya you'a do dat?" Asher doesn't have a funny little accent, but he does like to shorten all of his words. He calls a pocket- "pock", jacket "jack", blanket "blank", and so on. But then on something he loves VERY much he adds a word. He has this pair of slip on shoes that have a flap like soccer shoes and a big G for Gap on the front. When he wants to put shoes on he never asks for shoes, he always says "I need soccah shoes!" Oh, now that I think about it he kind of does have an accent. It is like a Boston accent...everything ends in a "ah" sound. It is cute.

He has been saying one phrase a lot lately, "Bobo did it." If you watch him destroy his room and Izzy just happens to be at school and we are the only two home, and I say "Ash, who made this mess?" He will say, "Bobo did it." If you wait long enough and don't make any sudden movements or facial expressions, he will get a huge grin and then say, "Sorry Mommy."

Asher is a creature of habit. He likes his schedule, he likes to do the same thing each and every day and he will tell you on the dot when it is nap/bedtime. Every morning, when I wake him up the first thing out of his mouth is "I hungy. Ashey eat wawalls (waffles) and milk." He doesn't stray from this breakfast routine and then he asks for "I need show Mommy.....Max&Ruby." After he cleans up his mess, (yay for training!) he always runs and reads books, or plays trains or finds a big dump truck and sits in front of the front door in the sunshine and plays quietly. I am telling you, he is the easiest little kid you could ask for! This last week was crazy busy and I think he is needing some extra loving because the last two days he has been coming up to me and saying "Mama, Ashey needs hugkiss." And heartmelt.
He got his nickname for a reason. His love language is definitely physical touch.

He is still very, very shy and groups of people give him extreme anxiety. I think in this next year, he will start coming out of it, hopefully. He won't try anything new if there are other people involved (ie: moon bounce, park). Much like his older brother at this age, he thinks we can wait until the park is completely cleared out for him to try the slide. :/

My little man is super smart and knows all of his letters by sight, colors and shapes. We have also been drawing and practicing drawing circles. The one thing he refuses to do is sing the "ABC" song. He knows the letters, but won't even try to sing it. If there is anything I know about Asher, is he won't do anything until he is ready. So who knows when that will be. He does love to sing, his faves are Wheels on the Bus, Row Row Row your boat, If your happy and you know it and O Praise him. It isn't that he is too shy to sing, or that he can't remember the words...he just knows that is the song I want him to sing. Stinker. Lately, he has been writing his own songs and maybe it is the Mom in me, but he has a great little voice! Today we went shopping and while we were out he asked Daddy a question and he replied, "Hold on a minute." Logically the next step is to turn that into a song! Asher serenaded all of the checkout lanes with a little tune singing "You hold a minute...hold a minute, you hold a minuuuuuuute."

Something else I am waiting on my little stubborn bull for, potty training. Blame Mommy for delaying his interest, but he wanted to potty all of the time during the holidays. I was so busy that I would practice with him a couple of times a day each day, but didn't push more than that. Now that I want him to potty train he says, "Ashey not do dat! Potty is too cold for me. No way." Hrmph! Waiting patiently on that one.

I am going to start keeping track of Ashers Quote of the Day here as well, because lately we have had a lot of them.

Today he saw a 1/2 circle kite flying and yelled, "Mama! Look at dat, oh no! Da Moon fell down out da sky!"

While taking a bath with Izzy, he busted up laughing at something Izzy did and then looked at me and said, "Mama, Bobo so funny...and then stopped laughing and turned serious and said, but you not."

At least once a day when I ask what he would like for breakfast/lunch/dinner he responds with "Cake." When I say, "Nice try." He responds with, "YESSSSSS Cake, nice try Mama!"

If I say "How much do you love me?" He says (every single time) "Ummmmm 6." When I look sad, he then says, "Okay okay okay....8."

I'm sure there is a million things I have forgotten, but I can save them for next time. I plan on video taping him talking this week, but my luck with loading videos to blogger has pretty much been none. So many cute videos...no where to load them. You will just have to imagine the cuteness.

Happy Monday to all!

Potty Dance!!!

Someone here is doing the Potty Dance!!!

My little Asher surprised us today, out of the blue, he ran and got his potty chair and showed Grandma that he wanted to go. Not once, but now 5 times in a row!!!! He turned 2 in June, and I haven't given potty training much thought. I learned quickly with Izzy that trying to train a boy before they have made up their mind is completely pointless. A couple of times, Asher seemed interested, so I tried sitting him on the potty, but his interest immediately turned into a screaming fit because he was SCARED of the toilet. So today, was such a shock to not only see him bring the chair, but go multiple times! YAY for big boys! I was so proud, I rewarded him with a marshmallow after each time. Grandma gave him a $1.50. Then on number 4, my pride was overflowing so I took him to McDonalds to reward his sweet little body with a Happy Meal. We sat together in a booth and he just beamed with excitement. I told him over and over how proud Mama is of her big boy and he just said, "YESSSSH!"

Tonight after dinner, I am going to take him to pick out his first pair of big boy underwear. Can't believe this day has come and my baby is quickly transforming before my eyes.

Super cute potty and new underwear pics to come. :)

Ashers Owl Party!

Saturday was the big day. Family and friends came to celebrate Ashers 2nd birthday. I had worked for months on ideas and projects and finally, I was done!!! This party proved to be a tad more difficult to plan because Marcus was in full blown finals mode for the last month. I dragged my poor boys to every craft store in town looking for anything owl themed. Luckily, I am blessed to have a super creative and wonderful cousin Melissa from Maine who lovingly sent me some owl gear from her local stores. Yay!

So why the owl theme? As soon as Asher developed his personality, he just reminded me of an owl. He is quiet and wise before his time. He LOVES to read. He reads books obsessively and as soon as he could crawl, he would move over to his book shelf and pull out about 50 books make a pile and sit on top of them and read each and every one of them. When Izzy was in school our house was super quiet. He is content to be by himself and loves to play trains do puzzles and collect things. He rarely speaks, but knows and understands everything that is going on. He is always on his own mission. A train in hand he is going somewhere, he just doesn't feel the need to clue any of us in. He is sweet and super loving. He is constantly kissing and hugging us. He is all boy, but very soft and gentle.

I started researching my theme and realized quickly I would have to make it all myself. Which I am totally fine with. However, I didn't think ahead to my schedule and between the end of Izzy's first school year, Hubby's finals, friends birthday parties and family events, I was pretty booked. I got it all done in time and all in all I was happy with the results. I tried to keep it simple and not go overboard, which I have been known to do before. The party was super fun and relaxed. We grilled out, opened presents, had cupcakes and jumped in the pool. I prayed for sunshine and God heard my prayer and gave me so much that it was super hot and sunny. Better than the alternative for an outdoor party, so I was grateful.

A few pics from the birthday bash:

Owl pillows for each party guest.


How many licks does it take?
The owl cupcakes! They were a hit!

Inside table.


Asher was spoiled rotten and smothered in love from our guests. It was so sweet of everyone that came and it went perfectly. The only mishap was on my part when I went to walk out Ashers cupcake with his candles to blow out, and I didn't realize the candles made the cupcake unbalanced and dropped my decorated cupcake on the deck!!! EEEk! Luckily no one noticed and I picked that thing right up, put it back on the plate (it stayed intact) and let him blow out the candles. Don't worry, I didn't feed that one to him. :)

He was so tuckered out after his presents and cupcake he went right to nap. He missed a lot of time with his guests, but they all understood. We had a super fun time and I can't wait to start planning Izzy's party next. I only have one month, so I better get started!

21 months of Lovey

Today my little bundle of Love turns 21 months old. Twenty-one months! Every month on the 9th, I think to myself, "How is it possible? I literally just had him." And yet, here we are.

I think it is only appropriate to do a "Lovey Update".

My little Asher now throws a side-eye in any questionable situation.

He loves to laugh. Not a little baby laugh, but a big hearty from the gut laugh. I couldn't love hearing it more.

The second he hears Izzy about to tell a story, he interrupts with babbling. Not a single understandable word comes out, but he feels it is mandatory that he interrupts his brother.

He officially detests bath time with the largest amount of drama and passion that one can possess. Well, he hates the hair washing and isn't afraid to throw a punch to let you know.

He runs like a football player. If football players crouched down and ran sideways.

He believes himself to be invisible in 2 situations. 1) If he feels shy or uncomfortable, he closes his eyes until he believes the company has left his presence. 2) If he wants to ignore a direction, he stands with his eyes closed and a huge grin on his face, waits for complete silence before opening his eyes.

He would literally eat a banana at every meal and be fine with only that.

He randomly comes over and hugs your legs for no reason at all.

His favorite toy is still the train table. You can find him there anytime he is not eating a banana.

He has figured out every single electronic item in the house. He is a genius.

He brushes his teeth at least 10 times a day.

He has a shoe obsession much like his Daddy.

The quickest way to make him happy is to open a book.

He falls and hits his face at least once a day.

He is completely obsessed with kitchen towels. None of us know why, or what he does with them, but if there is one hanging, he can't control himself. Much of my day is spent finding kitchen towels and replacing them. Yes, towel hide and seek.

He thinks every animal roars like a lion. Today he saw a book with a crocodile on it, smiled and said "ROAR!" ... we are working on it.

He loves to sneak into brothers room, lay in his bed and pretend to sleep.

He thinks Izzy is perfect.

He puts himself in time-out for things I didn't even know he did. It is called "self-check." :)

At naptime/bedtime he runs (crouched and sideways) to bed. He tries to climb into his crib and giggles as you cover him up. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I was thinking today, when he was born we thought his nickname would be ACE (his initials). Maybe when he is a little older, but for now, Lovey is just the perfect word. That kid is like my security blanket. I just love to be around him. He is so happy, fun, and so snuggly and sweet. He makes it impossible not to love him. I can hardly wait until morning to see his big smile and get a big bear hug (with a roar). The months have just flown by, and every day that passes, I feel like my heart doubles with love for him.

Happy 21 months little lovey, I could not love you more. Until tomorrow. :)

Attic

Every time I go into the attic, it only means one thing. My babies are growing up. Today, I spent my morning organizing clothes, packing away things that have been outgrown and restocking Ashers closet with Izzy's 24 months and 2T sized clothes. I can't believe that my little lovey is growing so fast. It feels like Izzy just wore these clothes and now that kid is in a size 6/7 and there is no "T" to follow that. *sadface*

Ash had a blast looking through the mountain of new clothes and shoes. He wanted to try on every pair of shoes and do a test walk. Then he found them...Izzy's first pair of Thomas the Train underwear. My mom had bought them, thinking Izzy would potty train early, and we realized really quickly that wasn't going to happen. He would just wear them for a few minutes or on top of his diaper and he thought he was hot stuff. Asher came across them, immediately started to put his legs in and then grunted for help. Then he walked around the house like a man. He proudly went upstairs to show Daddy and hunted around until he found Izzy. Izzy was so proud of him and said, "Hey Asher, you are wearing underwears like me! Wanna see mine?" So they went back and forth showing off their underwear. I guess this is what boys do. Who knows?

We have officially gotten to the point in Ashers life, where he can roam around without being gated, he can crawl up the stairs safely, he can eat foods without being cut up into microscopic sized bites, he uses silverware, he tries to dress himself (unsuccessfully), he literally mimics everything he sees, and he has to watch a movie to drive 3 blocks. My baby is a toddler. I love this stage so much, but I know how quickly it passes. Every minute of my day with him is so much fun. The other morning, while Izzy was at school, he spent the whole 3 hours trying to do a somersault. I tried to help him and it turned into a wrestling match. He would wait until I wasn't fully paying attention and hurl himself over my back and giggle until he couldn't breathe.

He is so smart, but still refuses to talk. He understands multi-step directions and follows them. He can clean up a mess and put things in the right spot. He will put his dishes in the sink when he is done eating. (so cute, because he has to stand on his tip toes and push it in) He has watched Izzy empty all of the trash cans into the garage trash and now you will randomly see him collecting the trash bins and putting them by the garage door. He is picking up some great habits, and just like Izzy loves to help. One thing that is not like Izzy, he does not like being little. Izzy treasured being a baby and I loved it. He felt like he grew up so much slower than Asher. Maybe it is having an older sibling to watch, but everything minus language has come so quickly. I wish I could stop time right now because we are just having too much fun with him.

Finally, the day came this week, when he couldn't find me and he walked through the house saying, "Mama! Mama!" I had a few tears, I won't lie.

There are so many reasons I am looking forward to spring and summer, but the biggest one is thinking of all of the things Asher is going to be able to do this year. Swim in the pool like a big boy, ride around in their Cadillac Escalade, play soccer with Izzy, ride a tricycle, run and run and run! We are going to have so much fun and I can't wait to take advantage of every single day in the sun! I have never lusted after a summer like I am right now. For now, I will just wash all of the summer clothes I got out for Asher, because as I speak, there is another dumping of snow outside.

All day, I have felt a little out of sorts. Going through the clothes, realizing how fast time is passing and then the constant snow fall has made me a little quiet today.

Something that did cheer me up, our 5's from bedtime. One of Izzy's 5's to me was: "I love you because you make the best quesadillas ever!"

Teething bites!

Asher is 17 months old today!!!! To celebrate this he slept 14 hours straight! I like that kind of party!!

About a month ago, we all got really sick. Asher had a viral infection and it took about 10 days for him to get completely over it. He didn't sleep well during that time at all and I had to rock or pat him to sleep at every nap and bedtime. That is very unusual because he puts himself to sleep every day. Now it is a month later and the habits have continued except the last couple of weeks he has been waking up at 2,3,4,5,6 and sometimes staying up from 4 in the morning. This makes for a very cranky mommy. 16 months old, we should have no problem going to sleep and staying asleep. Finally, it hit me when he wouldn't take a sippy anymore. He must be getting his last teeth in. If he saw me pour anything in his sippys he dropped in hysteria. Asher is not at all attached to a bottle, he only wants what is in there no matter how I serve it. Finally, this weekend, I put it all together and gave him a little motrin before bed, and what happened but 14 hours of straight sleep!!!!!

Normally, it doesn't take me so long to put the puzzle together, but the sickness threw me off. I figured he just got into a habit of me helping him go to sleep and was just being difficult now.

Either way, I think we are through the hard part and I am so thankful. I have felt tired, unorganized, and a little frazzled this month. Izzy comes home from school daily with a million papers, with dates and functions and I have just felt overwhelmed and forgetful. Maybe this is the first day of getting back on our normal routine and I can get back to my usual organized self. I like that me much better.

16 months

Today Asher is 16 months. In the 9 days of this month, he has learned a lot.

1. A signature move. It started when he learned to throw a ball so it is the same gesture, but with lots of attitude and no ball. It sort of reminds me of something Bill Cosby would do. Anyway, he does this move when he wants to make you laugh, when he is frustrated at you, when he can't get something to work, or he doesn't want a certain food. Really this move works for everything and it is funny every time.

2. Conversational babble. He still doesn't talk, but now it is non-stop with the babbling. Somehow, most of his "words" sound like Wow Wow Wubzy. He is so expressive with his face and hand gestures you know exactly what he is trying to say even if everything sounds like this "wow wowowo ohhhhhh wow".

3. Jump. Well, he thinks he can jump, his feet never actually leave the ground. Today he climbed up one stair, turned around, and did the motion like he was jumping, but didn't go anywhere. The signature hand move came quickly after when he couldn't figure out why he was still on the stair.

4. Echo. He has learned that certain rooms produce more echo in your voice. Now when I take the boys to say, the Walmart restroom, you can be certain that is my little Asher saying "WOW" as loud as he can 100 times over.

5. Clean up. Without prompting, he watches me do my chores and starts cleaning along side of me. This is clearly my favorite of his new abilities.

6. Spit. This actually happened today when he overheard someone whistling. He tried to do it, but spit instead. He giggled for at least an hour today while he practiced. =)

7. Fake cry. I was waiting for this one. Izzy used to do this a lot when he would see someone else upset. Now little Asher is an actor as well. As soon as he sees someone crying (picture Izzy), he now tries to distract you by his big brown eyes and a fake sad face and a weird whiny noise. If you are stern with him, it quickly turns to a giggle.

Things I have learned about my little "lovey":

1. He is as stubborn as a mule.

2. Without a doubt, he is the (not sure if this is even a word) snuggliest baby ever.

3. You can not stay mad at this child. His little chubby cheeks and BIG brown eyes, melt away whatever wrong he had committed.

4. FUNNY. He gets it from me.

5. He is his name-Happy and Blessed.

I can't believe how quickly 16 months have passed. I am simply having so much fun with my boys right now. I say this all of the time, but I wish I could stop time and keep them at this age forever. 4 years and 16 months...perfect.

My boys and I leave bright and early tomorrow for our mini vacation with my parents. I am so excited to have this special time with them and make new memories. I am sure I am going to have lots of fun stories to share when I return. Until then, work on your signature move. Really, it works for everything.

Lovey the Lion

ROAR!

That is what I have been hearing since Monday. Monday is the day my little Lovey decided to walk. Apparently, the only way he can keep his balance is by growling/roaring like a lion. Every time he almost falls, he lets out this gut roar and wobbles a bit and then manages to keep it together. Monday is also the day he decided that he is hot stuff and no longer needs direction or parents. He is a man now.

Take today for instance. Izzy and I were going to go play in his room and I told my little lion to come along. He walked a couple of steps, gave me a look like "wait a minute, I'm my own man now" and turned the opposite way and roaringly took his own path. Yes, it ended in the same place, but he did it his own way. Whatever works, lovey. During diaper changes, he has decided I am ruining his life and play schedule. He simply does not have the time to stop for stuff like that anymore. He has lots of walking and independent things to do.

Yesterday, we had our first battle of the wills. Wanna guess who won? That's right. Mommy. Insert "hero" music here.
It all started with a poopie diaper and ended an hour and a half later. Yes 90 minutes. At dinner time. Because I asked for 1 minute of non-walking. I know there is no reasoning with a 14 month old, but really? Now, anyone who knows Asher knows he is super happy, laughs all of the time and rarely gets upset-unless he has spotted what could be food and has not been offered any. My boys do not joke when it comes to food. It is serious business. So, back to war. I tried my normal distraction tactics and they all failed miserably. Then it happened. Crying moved into the scary purple tantrum zone and I just stood there with my mouth open for about 1 minute. Where did my little lovey go? When I tried to comfort him, it got worse. Mommy mode kicked back in and I said calmly, "Ash, we do NOT act this way. Are you ready to eat dinner?" He flipped himself over and flung his head back into that weird body formation that you can't really hold. I took him to the rocker, spoke softly in his ear, and it just escalated. Finally, I did what I did when Izzy had tantrums when he was under 2. Laid him in his crib and checked on him every couple of minutes. That is where the next 60 minutes happened. Constant checking and he would seem to calm down and when I would try to pick him up to go to the kitchen it would start again. Finally, the last time I went in and he put his hands up for me to pick him up and he nestled his head into my chest and we snuggled for a few minutes. My little man, had decided it was too much work being independent and he was ready for his Mommy again. Immediately, he turned back into my snugly, sweet, happy baby and had dinner and played nicely with Izzy before bed.

I have to say, I am still in shock that all of that drama came from the little guy. Izzy threw his share of tantrums, don't get me wrong, but Asher took it to a new level. My parents of course, just wanted to run in and rescue him and probably thought I was neglecting him by having him calm himself in his room. I felt like I did the best thing I knew to do. Stay calm and comforting, but not allow him to get attention for a tantrum. Today went much more smoothly. There were still lots of roars and growling, but not a single tantrum. I am sure that wasn't the last tantrum or battle of the wills, but I plan on winning all of them! ROAR!!!!!

Lovey

Asher Copeland is my little lovey. He was born June 9, 2008, perfectly healthy and right on time. He is my baby that gave me "normalcy." His pregnancy wasn't much easier, but he was healthy and made it to term. Asher has a personality all his own. He is very snugly, which warranted his nickname. He is quiet and thoughtful, stubborn and sweet. He is always happy, just like his name says. Even if he is upset, a silly face is all it takes to get him to stop and laugh. Asher adores Izzy. Anything Izzy does is met with a huge grin and giggles. The boys are just starting to really play together which makes my heart very happy. They love to dance and play the drums together. Asher's favorite toy is a ball. He will occupy himself for hours with a toy that cost a dollar. How can I complain?

Asher is 14 months and until yesterday, refused to even attempt walking. I thought I was going to have to carry him around for life. To be honest, my heart was satisfied with that thought, but my back was not. Last night, hubby and I are cleaning up after dinner and I see Asher pull himself up and take a few steps. We knew this day would come very soon, but somehow it is still so amazing. As he walked his pride and confidence grew with each step.

Being a Mommy is so confusing. I am so proud of my boys when they learn something new, but, there is that little pain with each growth that lets me know that it is one more step closer to them being big boys who don't need their Mommy so much. I thought about Asher all night as he slept. My boys are very scheduled and they don't fight bedtime. In fact, they love it. 7:00 comes and before you know it, Mommy has the rest of the night to herself. I appreciate this time, but last night all I could think about was how quickly the last 14 months have passed. How is it, that my baby is walking? Maybe Asher could sense my missing him, because in the middle of the night he needed me. Asher is and has always been an excellent sleeper, but it seems as if he knows those times where I just want to rock him and he always obliges. Last night he cried and I went to check him. He was completely asleep,it was just a random cry. I couldn't help myself. I picked my little lovey up and rocked him and snuggled. It was just what Mommy needed after such a big day.