Relief!

This was finals week, which means I have been working as a single mother for 2 weeks. I. am. exhausted.

On top of finals, Asher has molars coming in and a growth spurt, we have had a birthday and a holiday, a family member came into town unexpectedly, lots of shopping trips, lots of play dates, found a new doctor, filled out kindergarten paperwork, scheduled appointments, party planning, we set up Izzy's new big boy bed, cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning, late nights with friends, and the biggest of all caring for my two little guys. All of this has left me feeling very drained this week.

Today, my big plan was to take an hour for myself, go to the gym and enjoy a class, but instead I woke up at 5:00 like "how did I get here?" One minute I am on my computer looking up the gym schedule, and next thing I know it is 3 hours later and my workout consisted of closing my eyes. *sigh*

I don't know about you, but I am totally the girl who takes in everything that is going on in the lives of people I care about and right now, it seems like almost everyone in my circle is facing challenges of some sort. In no fault on their part, I not only internalize my problems, but theirs as well. Which many nights, leaves me almost sick and unable to sleep until I process and figure out a solution. I am pretty sure this is just how all women work, but I do need to take better care of myself and learn how to turn off my brain and relax a little bit. Many nights, I find myself thinking out my day and trying to prepare myself for the possible battles of the future and how I might better attack those issues that might have gotten away from me. In short, my need for problem-solving is slowly killing me.

Take Tuesday for instance, not such a good day on the Asher front. He wasn't feeling well, and his temper showed it. I spent that night rehashing the situations and figuring out what I should do if the day played out much the same on Wednesday. Luckily, it did not and he was back to his normal happy self. But if it had, I would have been in a better frame of mind, or would I? I probably laid in bed thinking about it for 3 hours that I could have been sleeping. It is like a sick cycle that I can't seem to break.

Then Thursday came. Finals are over, Hubby is back and we can resume family life!!! My kids were beyond excited to see Daddy and tell him stories about their week and have some play time. After the boys went to bed, Hubby and I decided to go on an impromptu date night. My mom was home, and offered to sit with them so we could go out and catch up. I can't even tell you the relief my heart felt, just having a normal conversation with my Hubby. It is amazing how much you can take your partner for granted until you are put in a situation where they aren't available for little chats, advice and affection.

We went shopping, and grabbed a bite to eat and I just felt relaxed again. I can't imagine how he feels during this time. My brain can't fathom studying from 8am-11pm for 2 weeks straight. What I do know, is today was the first time I have seen him smile in a few days and that made me very happy.

I started reading this book called "Cinderella meets the Caveman-How to stop boredom and jump start the passion in your marriage."

It is intended to be a couple read that you both answer questions at the end of each chapter. Obviously, I can't exactly ask my Hubby to add another reading assignment to his already insane school schedule, so I have decided to do the work on my own for now and hope that on his break he will be able to catch up with me. I think I can safely say, we are at probably the best place in our almost 10 year marriage. We have issues just like everyone else, but we have really chilled out on each other and the stuff that used to drive us insane, well blame it on the schedule, but neither of us want to spend any of the time we have together nagging at the other. But with the schedule also brings little time to have quality time and deep conversations. I am hoping this book will show me how to make my time more intimate and break some bad habits and I know Hubby will appreciate that. :)

If you are looking for a great book on marriage, this is it. I think it should be a pre-req to marriage. It is an honest look at the emotional make-up of men and women and shows you how to break common bad habits in marriage. And really, who doesn't want more passion in their lives?

My new goal is to take better care of myself and funnel that extra energy into my marriage. It is too easy to become completely drained and give your spouse the almost nothing that is leftover. It is time to refuel. :)