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Today is my Hubby's 32nd Birthday! I think it is only fair that since I write my boys a letter on their birthday that he get one too. So here it is...
I know you act like your Birthdays are no big deal and you could care less about cake, streamers and presents. But, really you lie. For the last week, I could see that it was eating at you that you didn't know what we were doing to celebrate and I saw that giant grin when you saw me baking a cake yesterday. Nice try.
Right now, you are knee deep in Neuro and you are stressed and exhausted. In fact, today on your birthday you have an Anatomy Practical. I could think of better ways to spend your day, but I promise when you are finished we will have lots of fun and you can relax! I know I say this all of the time, but honestly, you are the most diligent and hard working person I know. Birthdays, parties, family visits, guys nights and tons of other tempting fun opportunities, you keep focused and study. 75 hours is spent studying each week, minimum. Not finals week or boards, that is extra. With all of the school, the studying, labs, tutoring, you somehow make time each and every night to make our boys feel special. And to make all the wives out there even more jealous, you even clean up after yourself every day! You are such a blessing to our family. I can't thank you enough for being a wonderful example to our boys. They love you so much and I know that they will grow to be strong men that aren't afraid to work hard to fulfill Gods plan for them. As for me, I don't know how you do it, but you are so self-less that even when you have the chance to do something super fun, you turn it down so you can take me on a date. I love that. Even though our time is very limited, you know how to make everything special. So today I hope that we can all make you feel as special as you do for us each day.
My prayer is that you know and feel the amount of love and pride I have for you. That God would bless your diligence, determination and hard work and that you would have favor with everyone you meet.
We love you so much! I hope you have the best birthday yet!
Love,
Your beautiful wife. :)
I take like a kajilion pictures of my boys almost daily. Unfortunately I don't know what I am doing. Also, I have this thing where since I am always taking them, I am never IN them. I do all these fun, creative activities with my boys and I take pictures, but it just doesn't capture the emotion of what we are doing. And half the time, they come out too "posed" and unnatural.
Then like someone read my mind, a friend called me. His name is Nick. He happens to be an amazing photographer and husband to my beautiful friend Meg. He shared his new photography idea with me and Hubby of what he calls the "Normal Day Session." In this session, he comes to your house. He has his camera ready for however you start the day and he slips into the background as you go through your regular routine. He asked if we would be willing to let him spend a couple of days with us and we jumped at the chance! I love pictures, but I adore pictures of my family. I can probably count on my hands how many good pictures I have of me with my boys that isn't a posed family photo. This was my dream come true.
The process was amazing. His pictures are incredible. The memories he captured are my treasure. The bottom line: He caught our life, our personalities, our expressions, our time-outs, our pouts, our hugs and kisses. All things that are hard to catch when you are too busy, cleaning, cooking, or taking the picture.
Check out the video (on the site above) he so brilliantly put together. Pretty much that sums up my wonderful life, much better than I could express in words on this blog. It's perfect.
Shout out to Nick Allen. Great friend. Great photographer. If you live in the KC area, make sure you check him out. This is the best gift you could give any parent or grandparent. Promise.
Tonight I write with a heavy heart. Seems like a lot of people I dearly love are struggling with things of such difficulty and pain, and beyond prayer I feel helpless.
One instance, has left me totally speechless. This weekend, I found out a couple that I have known since I was tiny was in a horrible car accident on Saturday morning. The husband passed away at the scene and the wife will be in the ICU for days. This couple has ministered across the country and lived a life of integrity. They were hit by a tanker truck on the drivers side and the car is unrecognizable. I saw a picture tonight and almost threw up. The accident was so horrific and by the grace of God, the wife survived. The funeral will be held in a couple of weeks, when she is released and sent back home from the out of state hospital of which she is currently receiving care. My family is devastated and I can't even fathom how she or their children are handling the situation. My heart aches for this family and we are all left not knowing how to help, except to pray.
Without even giving much thought, I can name 7 families that are struggling with some major events. And in all of the situations, I can listen and pray and hopefully provide some comfort in words, but in comparison to what is going on, that feels like nothing.
I have been on the other side. I know the pain of death. I know the struggle of heart wrenching decisions. I know how valuable a listening ear can be and the thought of strangers lifting you up in prayer. Unfortunately, being one praying for someone you love who is hurting so very badly, it just never feels like I can say enough of the right words, or pray for enough comfort. I hate seeing people hurting and I wish I always knew the right things to say and do.
Have you ever walked for a cause?
I haven't. I should have done this years ago, but today I signed up for the Walk for Life. This cause is so close to my heart, with all that we went through with Judah. I am going to do this walk with him in my mind and heart. All donations support the local Liberty Women's Clinic which helps women and their families with unplanned pregnancies.
It feels really good to get involved and physically do something to support a good cause. The walk is October 9th and is approximately 2 miles long. I should probably get out and do a couple of practice walks...I am pushing about 90 lbs between my two little ones. Good cause, Good workout. It's a Win/Win!
For more information:
Walk for Life
It's over, and I made it! Izzy officially finished his first day of Kindergarten. He was happy and excited to go to school this morning.
He ran into our room with a giant smile on his face and got ready without prompting.
I made his special breakfast with my "K" pancakes and he giggled and said, "This makes me so happy!"
I packed my first lunch and then I cried.
Daddy and I walked him to school and he held our hands the whole way.
We walked him into class, he gave me a kiss, walked up to Mrs. C and gave her a hug and went about hanging his backpack and finding a seat like an old pro. Didn't even look back. I made it out of the school and back to our walking trail before I completely lost it. It helped so much to have Hubby by my side and have a few moments with him to reflect on the time with Izzy. Hubby said, "That went much better than I thought." I replied, "What, you mean Izzy?" He laughed and said, "No you!" lol I really didn't know if I could do it. I pictured myself grabbing him at the last minute and saying, "I made a big mistake, lets homeschool!" But, seeing his face and how excited he was to meet his friends and see Mrs. C, I knew it was the right thing.
It was a quiet day at home without Izzy. I knew to expect that, Asher is a quiet little guy and with the whole no talking thing...I didn't have much convo. We were both so excited to pick up Izzy from his first day and I couldn't wait to hear how it went. The whole pick-up situation at the school was purely chaotic. Buses were late and the bus kids are released first so everyone was delayed by almost 20 minutes. I finally checked him out of the office and headed home and he told me every detail of his day. He met new friends, he did projects, he practiced his writing, he had gym for the first time and played dodge ball, he had lunch and loved his packed lunch, sang songs, had a snack, it all sounded so fun. He said he LOVES Kindergarten and that just made my day. As hard as it was to send him off to school for the day, I know he is going to do wonderful and eventually so will Asher and I.
When we finally arrived home, I surprised him with S'mores as an after school snack and then took him to QT for a cool drink. Of course, he thought it was the best idea I have ever had!
Kindergarten is very tiring and Izzy asked that from now on, I don't walk him to school because he is just too worn out. So we will make a few adjustments, but overall the day went perfectly! He was so ready for bed at 7, he didn't even want to do our bedtime routine.
My goal this week is to figure out our new school routine and get organized. I am making flash cards for his sight words he needs to memorize this quarter and I am also updating the family calendar with ALL of the school info for the next couple of months. There is a lot. Each day is a letter day A-E and depending on the day is their "specials" like art, gym, library so I need to dress him accordingly.
After I get a routine set, I am going to focus my energy on Asher. My playdates have always focused on Izzy and Asher just tagged along, but now we can do things he loves and will enjoy. Can't wait to have special time with Lovey.
Thanks to all of my friends who prayed for me and Izzy this week. So far so good!
Tomorrow is the big day. First day of Kindergarten. I can't believe my little tiny premature baby is now a 54 lb, tall, skinny, adorably handsome 5 year old Kindergartner. Time has flown by and I really thought this day would never come. I thought I would somehow will it away with my pure innocent desire to keep him small and home with me. Turns out, it is impossible, so here we are.
I spent the day with my sweet guy. We went to church and then shopping for lunch stuff at Sams. He was so excited to pick out all of the food he wants in his "big boy lunches" as he calls them. After lunch, I decided to get everything laid out and ready to go for tomorrow. He sat in the room with me and chatted non-stop. Once Asher was in nap, I started the huge task of cleaning out the car. It was ridiculous. Then out of nowhere, Izzy appeared with a giant smile and an offer to help and he did a fantastic job. He did all of the vacuuming and I did all of the detail work. We talked a lot and laughed even more. Just when he thought he would lay down and catch a show, I ran in and surprised him with an offer to swim. He and Papa ended up racing outside and we all jumped in the pool and hung out for the afternoon. How could the day get better? Well, Dad made brisket for dinner. #1. It was yummy. #2. I didn't have to cook. Love that. The boys ran off to Papa's room to watch AFV's (their favorite show) and I started making pancakes. I made them in fun shapes for Izzy's big day. For him, a big K for Kindergarten and a smiley face. I can't wait until he sees his breakfast. He loves little surprises like that. Shortly after, it was time to get ready for bed. Asher takes about 30 seconds to prep for bed...he is always ready for nite-nite. :) This time, I knew I was going to be emotional and I really wanted some quality time with Izzy. We talked all about Kindergarten. Rules, schedule, lunch, safety, friends, rewards, homework. He seemed really excited and I was doing really good. Keeping it all together, until all of the sudden, he moves to my lap, wraps his arms around me and says, "Mama, I am not scared to go to Kindergarten. I don't want to leave home because I am worried for YOU. You can't be home without me. You can't just have Asher...that's not right! You will miss me too much. You make me worried and I just can't leave home!" Somewhere in the middle of this, we both break down into bawling fits and we are just holding each other. Who would have thought this day would come and he would be crying, but out of worry for me? He is such a sweetheart and so loving there isn't a word to describe it. This whole weekend, he just randomly would grab me and kiss my hand and say little things like, "Mama, I love you so much I hope you know." or "You are my bestest friend and I am so in love." "I will never leave you, Mama, I am stopping growing, I promise."
I know he is going to do fantastic this year. He has a loving teacher who he knows as his PreK teacher, great friends in his class and a school he knows well. Another positive for Izzy, Daddy's schedule just happens to work out so that he can walk to school tomorrow with us. When Izzy found out, he exploded in happiness. He doesn't seem to be nervous or anxious a bit, except out of worry for me. My goal tomorrow is to beam with pride and show as much excitement at such a huge milestone and pray I can hold the weeping until I get back to my room and clear from any humiliation to myself or sweet son! Luckily, I have a great class Mommy friend and we are meeting for coffee after our drop off. At least, I have someone who will be crying into their $5 cup too.
Tomorrow is the big day...updates and pics to come in between my weeping. Joking (not really.)
Today I bought a lunchbox for Izzy. I almost wept in the aisle at Target. The lunchbox was my emotional wall. Buying that one item, let me know this is fo' real. All day school for the rest of his time in my house. Mommy is devastated. In the same day as the lunchbox purchase, I took his enrollment forms, school supplies and had a meeting with his teacher. Luckily, I have a saving grace. Izzy's sweet Preschool teacher Mrs. C has been moved into a new Kindergarten position and she requested him in her class. That tidbit of info did help to slow my hyperventalational breathing a tad. It helped even more to hear, she picked all of the "friends" he got along really well with, and put the others in a different class. During the meeting, Izzy picked out his cubby, he went with yellow. Sunny...I like it. He wrote his name on his own notebooks and his folder. That almost brought a tear too. Just last year, I was writing everything for him. Then my OCD almost kicked in and I almost stole the Sharpie out of his hand so that it would be written in the correct spot. Then he upped it, by putting his A backwards. Self-control, I tell ya. Overall, I think he is going to have a fantastic Kindergarten experience. I also think, after a week, I am going to pull myself together and deal with this new phase of life. One which includes a much quieter day spending some quality time with my Lovey. I do have a small worry for Lovey, I am scared his heart might just break as much as mine with Izzy gone all day. Last week, Asher had to be quarantined due to an eye infection and they didn't play together for several days. When they got the thumbs up from me to play again, it was like a scene from a movie, where two people run through a field of wild flowers in slow motion, hair flowing in the wind and giant smiles on their faces. I have never seen two happier boys and so many hugs. Brightside is maybe I will just get to relive that scene everyday around 3:30 when Izzy gets out of school.
Yesterday, we were walking through a water park and he picked up my hand and kissed it, and said, "Mama, I love you so much. I am going to stay little for you like you want because I want you to be happy." If only that were possible... but I so appreciate his loving gestures!
Three more days of Summer with my sweet boy. I intend to squeeze every second of it I can.
