Performance Review

When I used to work at a large financial firm, I received quarterly performance reviews. I would sit through a long meeting while following along as they read my "points" good and bad. I would sign off and vow to improve in my areas of lack. (eyeroll)

Tonight, Israel and I did our normal routine, except tonight after devotions I felt urged to stick around and just let him talk for a while. I listened as he shared about his day, his friends at school, school rumors, injuries dating way back to summer (sidenote: what is it with boys? they remember every single injury), our relationships with God, forgiveness, my day and our plans in the next week.

Finally after all of that I asked, "Israel, what kind of Mommy do you think I am? What things do I need to work harder on and what things do you love that I do?

"Well, you are a really good Mom, but you could be a (fingers pinched close together) little better. Like you could try to make more good food. Like good quesadillas and tonight you made good hot cocoa, but I like mine a little hotter and you could've put a little more marshmallows in it."

Me- "Hmmm. I can work on that for sure. What else and you can tell me anything."

"You are always hurrying. Hurry Hurry Hurry Hurry Hurry. We gotta go and we gotta do this fast and I am over it! I think you need to work on not hurrying all the time. Slow down and play."

Me- "Wow, that is totally valid. I promise I will work harder on that."

"But don't worry, because I think you are good. You always do lots of stuff for me that makes my heart feel good like surprise parties and surprises in my lunch. You play fun things with us and you put that snow in the bath tub, I really liked that."

He gave everyone reviews; Grandma, Papa, Asher, Daddy and it was so interesting to get his take on their relationship.

For Papa, he said, "He is a good Papa, he is perfect he doesn't need to work on ANYTHING!"

But for Grandma he said, "She needs to get my drinks faster...sometimes she says she will get one and then she forgets."

"He thought Daddy is a good Daddy and he just needed to work on being patient and he gave him lots of credit for things he thought Daddy did for him but really I did. :) I let him think it anyway. He had lots of good things to say about Daddy like that he is a really hard worker and that he loves to play with Daddy. He thinks that Daddy is really good about making time for him even though he has lots of homework and even said, "that makes me feel really good that he stops to play with me every single night."

Ashers review was a little more critical....of course. He said, "Asher needs to work on not being a baby he needs to grow up a little. He needs to not throw his dirty socks on me when I am playing PSP and make me lose-ed my game! So rude. He needs to not make a mess in my room and then not clean it up. But, really he is the best brother. He is so nice and tonight we played in my room and he leaned over and kissed me 4 times and I thought that was really nice. He is my best friend, but he still needs to work harder. He has a lot of bettering to do."

Tonight, Izzy and I talked for 90 minutes before bed. It was truly one of the most interesting conversations I have had in a long time. This conversation really hit home with me tonight because everything he mentioned is really right on. I am organized and schedule and NEVER EVER late. While trying to teach my boys the importance of a work ethic and time management, obviously, being relaxed and enjoying the ride to whatever we are doing isn't always on my mind. It is my intention, but my personality sometimes cloudies it. After hearing my performance review today, I will not just sign off and dismiss it like I used to at my old job. We promised each other that we would work harder for each other and do better work.
I am hoping very soon to get a perfect performance review like Papa did, hopefully someday!

Ask your kids for a performace review, you might be surprised at their response. :)