Littlest Miracle

Last night, when I should have been sleeping, I found myself instead watching 19 & Counting (The Duggar family). I haven't watched in quite a while, but during last nights episodes, I could not hold back the tears. Josie Duggar #19, was born at 25 weeks and weighed only 1lb 6oz. Now I can't imagine all that this family has been through, but I can relate. My little Izzy was born at 32 weeks and weighed only 4lb 4oz. As I watched Michelle Duggar, sit on the side, while the Doctors and Nurses performed various procedures on her tiny baby, my heart ached for her. It is absolutely the worst feeling, to watch a complete stranger handle the tiniest baby you have ever laid eyes on like a sack of potatoes. To put tubes and needles in and do procedures that cause your baby's oxygen levels to drop instantly and hear the beeping of 20 different machines as you sit helplessly hoping for the best. To come into check on your child, and not know what to expect that day. Every day is different and there are no guarantees. Having a premature baby is a constant roller coaster ride.


(Pic-Izzy 3 days old in the NICU)

Izzy had his share of difficulties to overcome, but overall he did well. He had a pneumothorax (collapsed lung) which needed to heal, jaundice, he had no suck reflex, and it takes a long time for a preemie to gain weight. All in all, when they thought he would be there 2 months or longer, he only stayed 3 weeks in the NICU. It was amazing. But watching that show, took me right back to those days. The constant calls, visits, worry and anxiety and feeling completely helpless. I watched Michelle cry and pray over her baby from the other end of the room, and I remember being in that same position, pleading with God to give him the strength to live.


(Pic-Mommy's first time holding Izzy. 4 days old.)


Earlier in the night, I had come across a photo album in my Dad's office. I flipped through the pictures and they were all of Izzy's first week. It is still hard for me to remember just how tiny and fragile he was those first months. I can't even explain the panic that I had the first night we brought him home. There were so many rules in the hospital, but when he is cleared to go home, they just hand him off and assume you know what to do. We figured it out quickly, but it was very difficult to sleep after getting used to machines telling you if you baby was breathing well or not.

God has given us so much to be thankful for in Izzy. He is not a petite size child like they feared at his beginning, he is just the opposite in fact. He has no blindness, hearing issues, lung issues, allergies..nothing. Perfectly healthy and very smart.

My heart goes out to the Duggars and any family, who has had a child prematurely. I really appreciate that they have continued taping during this difficult time. I know for me, it has helped me to remember how much I should really be thankful for and how different the outcome could have been.

Today, I think I am going to go snuggle my littlest miracle, show him his photo album and tell him his story. I want him to grow up appreciating life and all of the blessings and strength God has given him every single day.


(Pic-Izzy's first day home and first smile! 35 weeks and still 5 weeks before his due date)