Do you ever feel like you are pulled so thin, that you aren't doing anything to the best of your abilities? Especially, the stuff that counts like being a Mommy? Well, I feel like that a lot. I mean A. Lot. Hubby is in his second year and his schedule is beyond crazy and as much as I hate to admit it, I am not perfect. I know, SHOCKER!
With Hubby being in the midst of finals, and the holidays quickly approaching, add in the holiday parties, required family gatherings, school functions, play dates, projects and oh yeah, Mothering children, it sometimes feels like I give them all of my time, but my focus isn't quite there as it should be.
Just when I am feeling a little down, I can always rely on my sweet Izzy to surprise me with his flattery.
Back story:
Last week, Izzy came home from school with a note saying that he had been a tad too talkative and had to miss 5 minutes of play time with his head down. Now, if you know me, you know this devastated me. I am a rule follower. I am obedient to my core and for my children to disobey, well as dumb as it sounds...it hurts. After a talk and a day without electronics as punishment we regrouped and finished the rest of the week out right. Add this situation to a finals weekend with no Hubby support and Izzy who is desperately missing his Daddy time (read: SUPER EMO) this weekend left me feeling like I can't handle everything and do it in a way that make my kids feel full of what they need all of the time.
Sunday night, I put the boys to bed at 7. No fussing, no problems. I walk upstairs to my room to get dressed for a craft night with a friend and within a minute, my Izzy is standing in my doorway. I didn't even have time for a sigh or a eye roll because before I could process anything, there he stood with a sweet innocent smile on his face and he said, "Mama, I know I am 'posed to be in bed, but I have to tell you something special. I like you very much and I really appreciate you. You are always nice to me and I just thought you should know that. I love you Mama, and don't be mad at me cause I got out of bed, okay?" He then proceeded to come give me a huge hug and kiss that was one of those moments Mommy's live for. The kind of hug where the love just pours out over you and refreshes you. It is a moment I needed so badly, and one I will never forget.
On my drive to my friends that night, I thought about what he said and realized, that just as I don't expect perfection from my kids (although it would be nice ;) my kids don't expect that from me either. All of the pressure is self induced and I need to take a few more deep breaths during the day and just give a few more hugs and kisses. I think we would all feel much better this season.
Hoping all of you Mama's out there get your moment of refreshment very soon!
*deep breath*
What a precious child! Love that boy! Miss you!!
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