With that said, I am going to be super open and honest right now...so be nice. :)
When I was pregnant with Judah and learned of his diagnosis, I was scared. Terrified more like it. I heard the words "Fatal Deformity" followed within 30 seconds by "When do you want to schedule your abortion?" There wasn't a moment, a thought, a glimmer of a thought even, with that as an option. Abortion has never, nor will ever be an option for me. I believe God is the creator of life and it is never our place to choose to end it. Now my belief in life did not take my fear away for what I had ahead of me, so I can completely understand and have deep compassion for women who are in similar medical situations or young women with less than desirable circumstances. I get it. My thoughts that first night were honestly; Will I love him? Will I be scared to hold him? Will my friends stick by me? Will my family be embarrassed I didn't have a "perfect" baby? I am human, I am insecure and I was scared. I was scared that God picked the wrong girl. I'm nobody. I'm a shy girl without a list of talents. I couldn't see God's vision for me or Judah.
But the Bible says, (Psalms 139:13)
"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb... You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.
Luke 12:7 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.
At the time, I couldn't see God's plan and even as I write this today I don't understand, but I do know that those scriptures are truth. He knew as he knit Judah in my womb that his life while short on Earth, was filled with purpose. Even further, he knew as he knit me in my mothers womb, that he equipped me and built me for all that he intended and that my purpose is bigger than I can imagine my talents to complete.
I'm shy. If my Speech teacher didn't completely love me, I would've failed. Through all of this I have spoken at 2 Women's Conferences and taped my story, not to mention the countless people I have met in similar circumstances who I have shared my experiences with. I see very little talent when I view myself, but God created me with a specific purpose and while I doubt myself, he knows exactly what we are all capable of. Tonight confirmed that the desire to volunteer to help girls hurting and confused, much like myself six years ago, to make a choice that they will be happy with for their lifetime. After Judah's diagnosis, I couldn't see past minute-to-minute. Looking back, it is simply amazing that God has used us in the ways he has and I know I haven't even scratched the surface. The thing is, it isn't just me, but every single person. Every person was created with purpose. So to think that in my county alone 700 babies (with a purpose all of their own) were aborted in 2010 is simply devastating. Especially when in my circle of friends, I have so many heart broken friends that are unable to conceive naturally.
I can't imagine my life, had I made the other choice. If I had followed the medical suggestion and chose convenience over life. I still have grief and sorrow, but nothing in comparison to what I would have if I had never experienced the love of my son and the memories of that day.
Thanks to the generous gifts of people all burdened by this cause, the clinic was able to raise $238,000.00 last night! AMAZING! It was calculated to cost $1,000.00 to save one baby, so that is over 220 babies in the next year, whose life will be protected. Believing that our county number is going to drop significantly in the next year and excited to hear the stories and make relationships in the process.
You are perfectly designed and meant for greatness! So what are you going to do with it?
I'm shy. If my Speech teacher didn't completely love me, I would've failed. Through all of this I have spoken at 2 Women's Conferences and taped my story, not to mention the countless people I have met in similar circumstances who I have shared my experiences with. I see very little talent when I view myself, but God created me with a specific purpose and while I doubt myself, he knows exactly what we are all capable of. Tonight confirmed that the desire to volunteer to help girls hurting and confused, much like myself six years ago, to make a choice that they will be happy with for their lifetime. After Judah's diagnosis, I couldn't see past minute-to-minute. Looking back, it is simply amazing that God has used us in the ways he has and I know I haven't even scratched the surface. The thing is, it isn't just me, but every single person. Every person was created with purpose. So to think that in my county alone 700 babies (with a purpose all of their own) were aborted in 2010 is simply devastating. Especially when in my circle of friends, I have so many heart broken friends that are unable to conceive naturally.
I can't imagine my life, had I made the other choice. If I had followed the medical suggestion and chose convenience over life. I still have grief and sorrow, but nothing in comparison to what I would have if I had never experienced the love of my son and the memories of that day.
Thanks to the generous gifts of people all burdened by this cause, the clinic was able to raise $238,000.00 last night! AMAZING! It was calculated to cost $1,000.00 to save one baby, so that is over 220 babies in the next year, whose life will be protected. Believing that our county number is going to drop significantly in the next year and excited to hear the stories and make relationships in the process.
You are perfectly designed and meant for greatness! So what are you going to do with it?
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